Navigating Co Sleeping
Such a general blanketed term for having the baby in the same room as you. That can mean in a bassinet, crib, bed sharing as well.
When I first got pregnant, my husband and I were pretty much on the same page in regards to what our sleeping arrangements would be. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends having baby in the same room in either a crib or bassinet for the first six months to reduce the risks of SIDS (Sudden infant death syndrome).
Since I knew I wanted to breastfeed, and obviously we were both terrified of the idea of SIDS, ( my husband borderline obsessed) for us it was a no brainer. My in laws made a comment pretty early on that babies make a lot of noise and since my husband is a very light sleeper, we should have our child in its proper place, the nursery.
I shut that down pretty quickly. Baby was sleeping in the room with us, in the adorable bassinet I had ordered. Made from river reeds in West Africa. You know all the things first time mama extra.
We were absolutely against the idea of bed sharing. We had read all of the safety concerns regarding it and also having witnessed my sister Shera bed share with their daughter and her sleep issues, we didn’t want to deal with it.
Our daughter was born on July 9, 2020 at 8:06 am. A scheduled cesarean due to her being breech. She was perfect but very vocal. I like to say she came out the womb pissed though. 3 months later and I have the feeling that she wasn’t quite ready to enter the world and in that matter. But that’s for another post.
She cried. All. The. Time. When we changed her diaper, when we put her in clothing and anytime we set her down. She wanted to be held all the time. A month later we would learn that a combination of low milk supply and her not latching properly would mean that she was hungry as well. The only way to get her not to cry was to hold her and rock with her. Our plans quickly went to shit.
We found ourselves exhausted and completely unprepared for it. They somehow forgot to mention this in the newborn class we took online due to Covid. It all seemed so simple until it wasn’t. So we held her while we took turns sleeping. One of us would stay up with her for a few hours holding and rocking her. That mostly fell on my husband due to the fact that I was also recovering from the cesarean. Major abdominal surgery.
We slowly found ourselves falling asleep while on duty. Of course this terrified us both. Jerkily waking while trying not to drop her.
SIDS is a big deal. I can’t imagine what it would feel like to lose a child and under the circumstances of “why”? But lets be clear, bed sharing doesn’t mean SIDS risk. Many cultures around the world follow this practice. and the research and statistics regarding bed sharing are limited and don’t separate what exactly happened. It’s just classified as SIDS.
Everyone’s experience is going to be different. In the end, we took another online class to get some tips and tricks for getting her to sleep better and longer. At the end of the day, for us, once we stopped supplementing with formula and her latch got better, she started sleeping better. She also got older and I truly believe that there are somethings you just can’t rush.
Doing your research, following your heart, listening to your gut/intuition is going to provide the answers of what’s best for you and your family. Also being gentle on yourself, having some patience and not falling into the comparison trap that so many of us mamas find ourselves in, is going to make a world of difference.
Every baby is different and every mama is different. Doing what’s best for you both is going to be the best in the long run.
For now, our little one is sleeping 7.5-8 hours a night. She’s still waking early morning to feed. Most days, I swaddle her and put her back in her bassinet after. Some days, I place her on my chest like I used to, snuggle her and fall back asleep together. It’s one of my favorite things and I’m not going to apologize for it.